“We have to connect our faith to the world we live in, not just use it as a ticket into heaven or an excuse to ignore the hells around us”–A New Way to Pray

What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the Lord our God is near us whenever we pray to him? – Deut. 4:7

Mmmmm.  Now what a thought.  Prayer is most definitely my new favorite thing to use words for.  Writing? Psh. Not even a close second.  Talking. To the Author and Perfecter of our faith.  What other people are struck with the presence of God as they pray to Him than the children of the Lord?  And isn’t that why we complain about “this life” so much anyway?  On a day to day, I hear so much complacency in this world.  As if it’s just this big waiting room to get to Heaven.  But why?  The goal isn’t getting to Heaven.  The goal is getting to Jesus. 
No, we will not experience the fullness of God, the fullness of love, the fullness of a reality we’ve set so far from the world until we see Him face to face.  But our God is near to us now.  When we pray to Him.

Is it not the way Jesus taught us to pray that God’s kingdom would come to earth “as it is in Heaven” (Matthew 6:10)?  So how selfish a notion that we can just sit around [while families are broken, and children are starving, and husbands and fathers are falling at war, and world leaders are corrupting their nations, and disease is spreading, and little girls don’t know their worth and little boys don’t know they were made to lead tomorrow] and hope that we’ll be comfortable till we get to Heaven. 

---

“With the elders as well, we sat down and realized, ‘Where did we get this idea that the goal of the church was to fill a room just to hear the word of God and sing worship songs to Him?’ There’s so much more in Scripture.”
                                                 - Francis Chan, The Crazy Mission of Francis Chan 

---

Last semester, in the November entry called Here World: Here’s My God,  I wrote about how God made clear to me in a night of prayer that He was moving me to stand up, and I didn’t even know for what at the time.  Something about boldness and a voice for the voiceless.  But I had no idea what that meant.  All I knew was that I’m a freshman girl, and even with a big voice, why would anyone want to listen to what I had to say?  I do clearly remember Him telling me that my unbelief wouldn’t stop Him from bringing Life to my campus.  And I knew I was either for Him, or against Him.

He broke me a lot at the beginning of this semester, putting new passions in my soul and burdens for my community on my heart, still urging me to walk like Him and talk like Him and stand for righteousness and justice like Him, and all the while reminding me that He hadn’t forgotten what He told me so clearly in November.  Slowly, I saw myself submitting and giving up my grasp on every firm root in my life that wasn’t Him.  Which only enabled me to be more rooted in Love.  But also made me look like a crazy.  One of those “radicals” threatening all hopes for a purely comfortable conservatism.  Jesus defended the weak and the poor, and stood for righteousness and justice, while the Pharisees scoffed at Him and hated His compassion for the “least of these” because it threatened their ideology of religion.  If I can do the same-- defend and stand up-- I know my Father is pleased with me, even if no one else approves.  I say that, but of course I wasn’t prepared when so many really didn’t approve.

---

We set out to change the world … and then we realized we couldn’t even change ourselves. Our passion for justice has brought us face to face not only with the world’s brokenness, but with our own limitations. It is within this tension that we have relearned what it means to pray.
                                – Shane Claiborne and Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove

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But, like Shane and Jonathan explain, this is where I relearned (or maybe even learned for the first time) what it means to pray.  What it means that we can lay our burdened hearts before Him and have Him near us to direct us, and comfort us in the affliction that comes with the cost of picking up our crosses daily and following Him because He said “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you” (John 15:18).  There is no way to follow Jesus and also be comfortable in the world.  It is supposed to reject us.

So since He made that evident, I’ve just been placing my feet in the God-made footsteps before me despite the rejection and discouragement.  And it hurts and it is uncomfortable but He keeps assuring me in all my weakness, “Faithful Daughter, I am all-sustaining and I am the Lord of Your life.”

“And all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.  And I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.“
                                                                             – David Crowder

And just as He promises that if we abide in Him, He will abide in us (John 15:4), He does just that.   This brings me back to prayer and my point now, I promise. 

The gifts of the Spirit have been overwhelming.  I’ve been lead to a somewhat scattered (but in-sync) community that shares my heart in intimate and specific ways.  We share a passion for prayer and an awareness for the power it possesses.  We pray fervently and with urgency for this city and our campus, in terms of both community outreach and inward growth for our ministries.  We want to see a heart of compassion shared across the widespread Body of Christ just at Mizzou made up of the 22 ministries on campus and we want to see His love, poured out from His servants, transform hearts.  And we believe that is possible, but only by our God that is a consuming fire.  We want to be a part of His ministry to Mizzou and we know that because we have faith in His sovereignty, He will use us.
  [If you abide in Me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. – John 15:7].

Some of the most compelling movements in the world have grown out of people whose whole life became a prayer for God’s Kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven.
                              – Shane Claiborne and Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove

Seeing how prayer is already connecting the members of our Body and striking passion throughout its appendages, I stand in awe.  Seeing how we’re already more eager to adapting and submitting to the will of God is further proof of this power possessed by only prayer.  Seeing how God is all the more near to us when we seek and listen, and sit in stillness, and allow Him to be the overflow from our hearts, we pray publically and privately, in community and alone.  We want Him near always.

“ ‘Is there hope for America?’ I said yes… because I live with young people who pray and fast for this nation daily.  And it’s because of their lives that I know God has a purpose for this nation.”  – Matt Lockett

read about this guy and The Cause here: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/mission/features/24782-praying-abortion-to-death

End note:  There are a plethora of quoted portions in this post, and it is because I came across SO many articles in the last week, focusing on or including the importance of prayer, that inspired and encouraged me.  So I decided I should spread a little of that encouragement.

Nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will

I have “Spurgeon’s Daily Meditations” bookmarked on my computer (thanks to a little Dougie), but most days I forget that it’s there and it’s only when my eyes do wander to that particular tab in the space beneath my search bar that I am blessed with the wisdom of a real man truly after God’s heart, personal thoughts from over 100 years ago.  I find stuff like that entirely fascinating. 

Today’s morning devotion was based off 2 Peter 3:18.

“To Him be glory both now and forever.”

Here’s a little excerpt from it:

Believer, you are anticipating the time when you shall join the saints above in ascribing all glory to Jesus; but are you glorifying Him now? The apostle's words are, "To Him be glory both now and for ever." Will you not this day make it your prayer? "Lord, help me to glorify Thee; I am poor, help me to glorify Thee by contentment; I am sick, help me to give Thee honour by patience; I have talents, help me to extol Thee by spending them for Thee; I have time, Lord, help me to redeem it, that I may serve thee; I have a heart to feel, Lord, let that heart feel no love but Thine, and glow with no flame but affection for Thee; I have a head to think, Lord, help me to think of Thee and for Thee; Thou hast put me in this world for something, Lord, show me what that is, and help me to work out my life-purpose: I cannot do much, but as the widow put in her two mites, which were all her living, so, Lord, I cast my time and eternity too into Thy treasury; I am all Thine; take me, and enable me to glorify Thee now, in all that I say, in all that I do, and with all that I have."

I love that.  In every circumstance, in every opportunity at all, give God the glory.  In every good thing I have been given- my heart, my mind, my time, my story; and in every hardship thrown my way- when my soul is sick, when my pockets are empty- glorify, honor, praise.  What a thought.  What an action.

In the last few months, I’ve found that this is all I want to do.  I’ve tried to analyze that so many times to better understand it, so I can better explain it, but that’s really of no use.  I’ve come to terms with the fact that I won’t understand the science of being drawn to Jesus.  I just am.  It just is.

But:

he [Jesus] said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.
                                                                                        - Luke 9:23 & 24

What a war.  Deny myself what I want, for what I want.  Take up our crosses daily, follow Jesus; a bunch of little revolutionaries singing praise to one Father, loving our brothers and sisters, having compassion for them, patient in our afflictions, submissive to the will of God, abhorring unTruth and reckless empty worship of our God because our love for Him is so passionate, so deep that we cannot understand or remove the reality of a mockery being made. 

Deny myself.  What a cost.  Because Jesus said:

Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. – Luke 14:27

and reiterated even more bluntly:

So therefore, any of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. – Luke 14:33

Look like Jesus.  What a calling.  In the midst of this world, in the midst of mocking and unbelief and people thinking you’re downright mad-- GLORIFY GOD. 
How would Jesus do that?
What would Jesus do? 
What did Jesus do?

In Gethsemane before Jesus was handed over to death:

And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled.  Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” – Matthew 26:37-39

I find this passage displays so much human in Jesus, and yet so much God.
“My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me.”
Weakness?  Selfishness?                    No.
Pain.  And overwhelming distress.  The weight of the world’s sin, the wholeness of the corruption of utter perfection and holiness set on God’s shoulders.  Anguish.  I don’t believe the yearning in the soul of Creation to be united with Creator is a one-way street.  It’s a pull, like a magnetic force.  We have to be enveloped into Him.  He knows it better than we do. 
So, sick with sorrow Jesus prays to God, “if it be possible, let this cup pass from me.”
We pray that a lot.  We hope that a lot.  But Jesus isn’t done.  Jesus knows the meaning of glorifying the Creator.

“Nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”

                                                                      Beautiful.

Father, never as I will, but as You will.  Father, never praise to me, but praise to You.  Father, I hold no pride in myself, let me boast of Your grace, and Your mercy.  Father, glory is not mine, it is Yours.

I’m sick of hearing “good for you,” or “good job,” or “glad to hear you’re doing well” (what??) when I describe, in my small and insufficient vocabulary that in no way displays the depth of His glory, how He is building up a healthy Body here or how He is showing a glimpse of His intimacy and sovereignty to us. 

This isn’t good for me.  Brothers and sisters, this is good for you, too.  The Spirit isn’t just working in me; It’s working in you, too.  I haven’t done a good job.  Encourage me, yes (I mean, please do).  But I don’t want to feel like you’re praising me at the end of the day for the things I’ve done.  I haven’t done them.  The joy you feel when I tell you how God is working here deserves His praise.  Praise Him.  Do not disconnect yourself from the work of His hands in me.  He has built me up to build you up, to build the Church up.  Please do not tell me that I’ve succeeded, that I’ve won; I have much still to learn.  Challenge me.  Encourage me to be more open to Him, to call on His direction more fervently, to love Him in every opportunity, to give grace and mercy like He’s taught us, and to lay down my life-- renounce all I have-- as He’s asked me.

I know I haven’t the approval of all men.  And that is something I’ll never need.  I have the calling, the name, of a good and faithful servant- a daughter in Christ.  But I do not wish for the praises of men either, telling me all that I’ve done right.  Be encouraged, brothers and sisters, by how good He is.  By how He has redeemed me.  But remember that I was the little girl lying on the floor, broken and bruised, addicted to using and feeling used, crying out to a God I didn’t know by name to save me.  And in that, know that my strength belongs to Him.  My love belongs to Him.  Our praise belongs to Him. 

The Vision

The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people.
                                                           You see bones? I see an army.
And they are FREE from materialism.  They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
                                    They could eat caviar on Monday and Crusts on Tuesday.  They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations.
                          They need no passport… People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence. 
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
              What is the vision?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.  It makes children laugh and adults angry. 
It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.     It scorns the good and strains for the best.
It is dangerously pure.     Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation. 
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.       This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.  A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose that they might one day win the great “Well done” of faithful sons and daughters.       Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.    They don’t need fame from names.
Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again:  “COME ON!”
                                     And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making, Foundations shaking, Revolutionaries dreaming once again.
                   Mystery is scheming in whispers Conspiracy is breathing… This is the sound of the underground
And the army is discipl(in)ed. 
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.        Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their backs boast “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes.  Winners.  Martyrs.  Who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?  Can failure succeed?  Can fear scare them or death kill them?
And the generation prays like a dying man with groans beyond talking,
                                                with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting.  Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.
Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cozy little hide.
Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials.
                           The advertisers cannot mold them.  Hollywood cannot hold them.  Peer-pressure is powerless
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive (on the inside).
       On the outside?  They hardly care.  They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. 
                                                                       Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives- swap seats with the man on death row- guilty as hell.
                                                                                    A throne for an electric chair.
With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
                                       they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
        Their DNA chooses JESUS.  (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
                                              Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
                                                                      Their words make demons scream in shopping centers.
Don’t you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo’s!  Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.
Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
                    And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know?
Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God.
               My tomorrow is His today.  My distant hope is His 3D.
And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great ‘Amen!’ from
countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself.
And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
                                                                                                                                               Guaranteed.

-Pete Greig

I wish this was mine.  It isn’t.  Well they aren’t my words, anyway, though an accurate and clear reflection of the yearning and burning in my soul. 

By the way, can you say syntax?  This was brilliantly written.  Originally on the wall of a prayer room in England in September 1999. 
And it’s reached us, dear friends.  Let it impact and stain our souls with the Love and divinity and creativity of God.

You’re the God of this city; You’re the King of these people; You’re the Lord of this nation, You are.

He is the God of this city.  He is the King of these people, even if they don’t know it.  He is the Lord of this nation that mocks and dishonors and disdains His name.  And there are none like Him.  Not even close.

Much of what I wrote the last time I did were complete understatements, overused thoughts and ideas that give little to no justice of the transformation my heart has undertaken.  I’ve been thinking about the concept that of everything I’ve ever made sense of in the world, so little makes sense in Love to me these days.  Things are not easily explained anymore.  I’ve been thinking about a little tidbit my sister gave me a week or so ago.  She said something to the effect of:

“Don’t you know the apostles were real people?  Don’t you know those stories aren’t just stories?”

Of course I knew that. 

But did I?  Those “stories” are history; those stories are real accounts of real people, real miracles, real unexplainable love, real God. 
Real small servants being blessed and used for glory and honor by a real big God.
Those stories are every bit an example of what we have the potential to be.  And the funny thing is that it’s not asking much. 
We see quite easily that the only “heroic figure” in the Bible capable of perfection was Jesus.  The apostles weren’t flawless; they were faithful.  Aside from Jesus, none of God’s servants were perfect; they were obedient.

Yet, their lives were abundant and rich.  They lived in the same world we live in and they didn’t look like they belonged to it. 

That’s what we can be.  Rich.  And maybe we’ll never have anything to hold in our hands, but we’ll have treasure stored in our souls. 

I have such hope for this city.  I have such hope resting in Jesus’ love for us, in His desire to draw us near to Him, in His power to change minds and hearts.  I have such compassion for these people, believers and unbelievers alike.  I have such compassion for their strife, for their struggles, for their brokenness, and for those weights they’re carrying on their shoulders, unable to hand them off to the Comforter who offers rest. This inability to trust in the God who saves, who delivers, who redeems us.   

And I despise my own unbelief; I reject my untrusting heart that cries its claim that I can’t do something.  True, heart, true.  I can do nothing. 

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it. –1 Thessalonians 5:23-24

But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).  Because it’s not by my own strength, or by my own will but by the will and strength of God.  That’s real.  That verse isn’t meant only to give us hope in times of personal grief and hardships as we so often use it, but also so greatly to empower us in the strength of His Spirit for the grief of His Spirit over His people, to be His vessels and the workmanship of His hands, yielding every good work He has prepared.

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.
                                                                                              – Isaiah 30:21

I have so much faith in His direction.

Friends, could you be very faithful so as to pray for my(/our) campus with fervency and trust in God’s grace and mercy this same encouragement that Paul sent to the church in Colossae.

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God.  May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.  He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
                                                        – Colossians 1:9-14

Brothers and sisters, much Love given only through our Lord and Creator.

“Never let the cost of obedience keep you from the path of obedience”

 

^ that’s some Bill Jones for ya.  Courtesy of my dear big Sis. 

I was really going to just do that cop-out post and leave it at that (not that it wasn’t a real and true reflection of my heart), but I decided, as my 3rd entry of the month at the end of the month, I could say a little more.

This is what Jesus has been teaching me.

I know nothing.  He knows everything.
The end.

Just kidding.  He does know everything, and in comparison to His infinite knowledge… I don’t compare.  But that’s not the end. 

Because,
He is still teaching me.  This unworthy and ignorant pupil.  I come before Him with my pad and pen, and He speaks slowly even as I scramble to jot down what I can.  I love Him, my God.  But I’m still learning what that means as well.  [Clearly in Scripture, Jesus says that those who love Him, keep His commandments; we obey the deep aching in our souls to disregard our pride and our flesh as we dive into the Truth that is unknown and unwanted by the World, the Love that is undefiled and uncorrupted by the World, the Life that is unending and uncontained by the World.]  As my heart grows heavy with the desire to be the kind of Love that He is, I still have selfishness.  And there is no selfishness in love.

I’d been so discouraged this past month.  Feeling alone and useless for being alone (which is just silly; I’m not alone, not even here).  But as I’ve been spending time with Him this past week, He’s just been opening my eyes to the things He’s doing, revealing Himself to me and His purpose, piece by piece.  And in Him solely, I’ve been able to find my comfort.  In Him only, I’ve been able to find peace and rest, and courage to keep taking those steps toward everything I am afraid is not comfortable, but sure is only Him.  The more that I take on His Spirit, and the more that I lose myself in His Life, the less I am able to explain my actions, the less I am able to make sense of “why’s”, the less I find myself asking “what if”, and just doing.  It is entirely unknown, and entirely terrifying, and immensely free.  And that is exactly what He desires for us.  That we be free.  Free to love, and die, and Live like only He has showed us. 

So I’m just set on this idea that though it is being made quite apparent that the cost of obedience is sometimes great, its path is still something to be sought after.  Because it is the echo of my love for the Lord of my life.

Ah. Amen.

Though none go with me, Still I will follow

 

I’m like a disease,
A spreading sea of insecurity
To those with closed ears
With eyes that were
too comfortable asleep.
But I think that I’m alright with that
Jesus was a homeless man.
He was skilled and He was brave
He had a voice and He had a name
And it was Love,
And Love was rich, but He was poor;
He was the man on the street
we find our own ways to ignore.
But my heart churns in my chest,
Outside of Him, I find no other rest;
I cannot walk past Him anymore.
When He draws in my eyes,
He draws me to life,
He paints and creates and portrays
how to die
more to myself to be more alive.
I want to bring
Him honor and praise
and the glory of His name
to those that haven’t heard it,
But to those that have, too.
I want to be gentle and wise,
unable to shut my eyes
to the brokenhearted and the pain.
I, the overbearing stain
of these iniquities,
We, Christians--
These blemishes on the face of Christ.
We, Christians--
Ambassadors
of the One who paid too high a price
for us to pay; We wouldn’t even try.
Everyday
I grow deep into His love,
Everyday
I ask Him to empty my cup.
I want to walk in love
And talk in love
And be in Love.
Everyday.
And most days,
it’s not easy to love;
All I can decipher is the desire to run.
But I call to Him,
and slowly, I see my heart coming undone.
And He’s says the fight I’m in
has already been won.
So I wait for Him to tell me where to move,
with a false notion
that I’ve got something left to prove.
But it’s all still new-
not knowing what I should do,
and still doing it.
I want to be alive,
so these thoughts won’t be mine,
So the glory and pride
of my own name dies,
So I can walk in His will,
the one He intended for my life.
I want to delight in Him,
to fight for Him
To shed light on His story,
the one He wrote for me
and for you--
The Love He pours out
while we cling to our doubts
that keep us without
understanding.
I want to live in that love
And give with that love
And learn and forgive and forget
with that love.
I ask Him to align my heart with His
to erase the former ways my mind has been,
To rid my soul of all its sin,
against only Him, the transgression
that I commit.
Even as it draws me to my knees in surrender
Even if I’m like a disease or a leper,
eternally healed,
“To You alone,
May my spirit yield”
I want to be the love that can’t be concealed.

As a deer pants for flowing streams,
so pants my soul for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God… – Psalm 42:1-2

Trust in the Lord, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord,
trust in Him and He will act… - Psalm 37:3-5

I want to delight myself in the Lord so He will give me the desires of my heart, when all my heart knows how to desire is Him. 

Rooted and Established. In LOVE.

  This is Chico Bango.

Back at the Zou.  We debunked the beds last night (thanks friends for all of your help, and not help).

When I woke up this morning, I realized I had absolutely nothing I had to do today.  This is rare in my life.  So I took a shower and read, for a long time.  I am still in the middle of Crazy Love, but even with my tendency to start 4 books at a time and finish none, I think I might actually get to the end of this one.  I then wrote a letter to a friend that I really needed to write a letter to.  And God blessed it, and my time with Him, and I sat back and thought, “Wow.”
God is so… good.  That word is one of the adjectives my English teachers hated us to use to describe anything.  It was too large a cliché.  But God is good.  He is every derivation of it.  He is every synonym of it.  He is more of it than everything we use it to describe anyway.  I am overwhelmed by how good He is. 

I finished my application to Africa last night (now I’m waiting to come up with the fee, and it will be on it’s way).  I’ve had a lot go through my head concerning Africa… concerning everything really.  It seems I don’t know how to trust our God that is so GOOD properly.    I’ve taken everything I learned at DCC, all the truths that were uncovered and revealed to me by God, and warped it all into less honorable and glorifying tasks given by God.  I’ve viewed them as burdens as opposed to opportunities to serve the God of the Universe, blessings in which I will be able to run toward Jesus and away from who I’ve ever been without Him.  Opportunities to love deeply, and share genuinely, and serve selflessly, thus making me richer than I’ve ever been.  And I still won’t have any money.

I’ve had to remind myself what I have learned, but also that there is much still to be learned. 

I want to go to Africa.  For all of the reasons I stated in the post before this one.  I want to serve where He’ll have me.

I’m at Mizzou not to get my degree, but to live in the dorms, and to eat in the dining halls, and to thrust myself into the dysfunctional Body He’s set in front of me.  I am here to Love on everyone I come into contact with.  There is no part of my so-called faith that means anything if I haven’t love.  I don’t trust God if I don’t surrender to it.  Even if it’s scary, even if I don’t know the outcome.  That’s why it’s surrender based on trust.  It’d be real easy if I knew how everything would turn out, if I could see the bottom. 

Over the past week, I’ve read Ephesians 3 a few times.  I really like Paul’s prayer to the Ephesians for their spiritual strength, and I pray the same one for any part of the Body I’ve found myself in, and for me as well.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom His whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name.  I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Amen.