October 30, 2010

"Love takes off the mask we fear we cannot live without, and know we cannot live within"

 

Even when I ask God to break me, I put Him in my own little box that I clearly and systematically label, "How God Can Break Me."  And every time, I see that He's much too big to fit in my boxes. 

I tell Him to take my burden and I hold it to my shoulders like it's a lifeline; I tell Him I find peace in Him and I stress over things I know He is in  full control of.  I hate admitting the ways I feel I don't know how to trust Him, when He's blatantly working before my stubborn eyes  I cannot seem to open.

There's a spirit that lives inside me, that makes me more aware of everything I try so hard to ignore.  He makes me alive, and He makes me feel- fully.  Even when it hurts, even when it's so good that it hurts.  Even when it's so uncertain and unknown that I don't know how to hurt.  He makes me feel that all.

And it's hard, and it's challenge, but it's growth and it's beautiful.

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