Our Scars Have the Power to Remind Us That the Past Is Real

But they're scars. Unlike gaping wounds, they have healed. The past is real; it happened, but it is indeed the past.

Jesus, let thy pit'ing eye call back a wandering sheep.
False to thee like Peter I would fain, like Peter, weep.
Let me be, by grace, restored; on me be all its freeness shown;
Turn and look upon me, Lord, and break my heart of stone.
And break my heart of stone.
Savior, Prince, enthroned above, repentance to impart
Give me, through thy dying love, the humble contrite heart.
Give what I have long implored: a portion of thy love unknown;
Turn and look upon me, Lord, and break my heart of stone.
And break my heart of stone.
Look as when thy pit'ing eye was closed that we might live,
"Father," at the point to die, my Savior cried, "forgive."
Surely with that dying word, he turns and looks and cries, "'Tis done."
Oh, my loving, bleeding Lord, this breaks my heart of stone.
This breaks my heart of stone.

Look up that gem. It's a hymn that I heard at The Crossing... bought it on iTunes as well. (This Breaks My Heart of Stone- Red Mountain Church).

God breaks your heart to show you something more fully. He strips you of your bearings, your comfort, to reveal Himself at the purest and most simple essence. It takes all of that for us to see Him-- stripped of everything we’re comfortable with, everything we find true, everything we know, we’re fully able to see everything we don’t. I get frustrated with Him often times, pretending to don the power and control I know full well belongs to Him. I curse His weakness that is stronger than all my strength, and His foolishness that is most wise above my wisdom, if only because I want to understand. But then I realize He gives me the opportunity to do so. When He breaks me. So, what He is doing with my life I do not know, but I know that He is doing it to show me something more fully. I know that when it’s over, I will be grown; I will be able to touch Him. For now, I will force myself to remember that I’m not driving, and to hand Him the keys without Him having to ask. I will then love Him for everything He is, praising every challenge He throws at me because each challenge is an opportunity to serve, to love, to honor, to be fully grown. Life is happening; it moves. The hands on the clock spin around in the same rotation, day after day, for all of your life until there’s no time left. It cannot be willed to stop, or slow down. This is happening-- right now. There is no arguing that I may not be ready. I’m ready; the Lord says I’m ready. It doesn’t matter that I have no idea what I’m doing, or where I’m going; I’m ready.

Remembering never hurt

like it does to you now;

Life’s moving on

and you still don’t know how.

You’re closing your eyes

and holding your breath,

Repeating the reasons,

and counting to ten.

You’re starting to feel

like your time’s running out;

You scream, maybe cry,

because words can’t be found.

You pick up your hands,

hold them close to your chest,

Feel rhythmic breathing

to know there’s still breath.

Disregarding your feelings

to learn how to die

even more to yourself

to be more alive.

I am an awesome testimony of a living True God, that sent Himself to die, that I might know what it means to live. I'm the wretch that song talks about. And He has given amazing grace.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. - Psalm 73:26.